Productivity

Today was different then normal. I got in an argument with someone late last night and desperately wanted my mind to stay focused on the positive rather then dwell on the recent negative.

I got home and began tearing my room apart. Not in the same way that an adolescent teen would tear their room apart. I cleared the counter tops. I did the laundry. I cleaned like it was going out of style.

I did all this while I was listening to audiobooks on the topic of productivity. The combination of mental stimulation and simple manual labor was somehow invigorating. I found myself working at a pace that could only be described as a cardiovascular demonstration. I was loving it.

It was amazing. Normally the best part of my day is when I meet with people. Today my meetings with people forced me to slow down and broke my momentum. I emptied my head of all of its to do items. I learned and accomplished. Time wasn’t waisted. I’m in love with this way of living. I can’t wait to get up tomorrow and just accomplish more.

Speed isn't everything

I went for a run today and failed. I planned to run 3 miles which is a distance I have done many times before. I began running and after a mile I had to transition my run into intervals of running and walking. I was surprised to find out that my time was only slightly shorter for the run then when I didn’t do intervals. Sometimes it more important that I simply don’t stop rather then how fast I go.

Glamorous and glitzy

Most people think that show business is glamorous and glitzy. As I show up at the theater and begin getting ready to perform, I am forced to confront how wrong those people are. It starts by putting all your, energy, money, and time into your art. Much more gets put in then you could ever make.

Next I have to prepare for a show by gather music, creating cue sheets, collecting props, costumes, & tools. I get my camcorder and tape. I have to make sure to bring fresh batteries and my microphone.

I show up at the theater long before any one else is there. I have to make several trips from my car to the theater in order to haul everything. I set up and plug my microphone in the sound board. I pass out cue sheets to all the technicians, in hopes that they wont mess up the show. I know full well that if they do mess up the show, the responsibility falls on my shoulders and not on theirs.

I setup the props and the stage. I get into costume & makeup and then I weight. I envision all the things I want to have go write and I dread everything that could go wrong and the audience funnels into their seats. Waiting is just a game of stress.

Finally the show starts and everything goes well. Afterwords, I wait for everyone to leave and I reverse the entire process. It is several hours of setup and tear down. The time on stage is minimal and the audiences are unpredictable. With all that bad stuff, all the things that could go wrong, the sound of applause makes it all worth while.

Time to work

I had a really hard time on my run today. I paused before I reached a mile and I felt my heart pounding. I ended up walking home. I am sure that I will have to change my training if I intend on completing this marathon. Sometimes the only way to succeed is to change the way you look at things.

Tomorrow night I will have a show in front of a lot of magicians. I don’t have the set figured out yet. I need to burn audio CD’s, write a cue sheet, gather props, and practice. I can’t grow lazy. I need to get this stuff done.

Breaking up is hard to do

Today I broke up with my girlfriend. It made me feel bad but not that bad. I have been kind and caring, I have been supportive and forgiving. It is always easier to end things when it is the right thing to do. I wonder if I will miss her when I get lonely. I wonder if she will miss me.

I try to improve my relationships and I can’t help but look at breaking up with someone as a step backward. The truth is, that if I am developing my relationships, then getting out of the relationships that are bad for me is apart of that. Sometimes the right thing to do is the hard thing.

I like cheap Mac N Cheese

I was shopping in the groceries store today and I stopped as I found myself passing by the boxed macaroni and cheese. I liked macaroni and cheese when I was young. Almost everyone I know likes it. The truth is that I haven’t really like mac and cheese since I moved out on my own. Macaroni and cheese brings back good memories from when I was young.

Many of my earliest memories stem from when my family lived in a trailer on an empty plot of land. We weren’t well off, but I didn’t know it. I knew that my rusted bicycle with a twisted frame had been salvaged from a dumpster. I knew that we had to heat water on the stove and then carry it to the bathroom if we wanted to take a warm bath. What I didn’t know was that my families lifestyle was any different to the other kids I went to school with.

I don’t think we ate all that well. Whatever we had, we would eat. Sometimes we would eat food that was long long past its expiration date. I didn’t care. We had no chairs to sit on but It was the company of being with my family that made me happy. I distinctly remember a night where we had split pea soup. It thought split pea soup was awesome. Macaroni and cheese was also one of our families culinary delicacies.

But that’s all history now. Back to the present. I find myself standing in front of all these boxes, brands, and varieties of mac and cheese. I look at all the name brand boxes that I have had in the past. I’ve tried all the best and most expensive ones. Today I decided to stop looking at the good stuff and instead I picked up the generic, cheap, crap brand.

It tasted exactly like the kind I had had when I was a kid. It was wonderful. I am sure it wasn’t the taste but the associations that I had to the last time I had taste it. It was wonderful. It just shows how powerful our memories are. I like to think that I shows how wonderful it was to spend time with my family together. Maybe it means nothing.

Connections

The Smallest

Scientists cannot accurately measure the smallest particles in existence because it is impossible to measure an object without altering it. The simple act of looking, changes the results of a tests. I wont get into why this happens because its a long story but it’s enough to know that it happens. Why should you care?

It means that everyone who looks upon you has a direct impact on who and what you are. Maybe more importantly, it means that every life that you enter and ever person you look upon changes the world.

The Largest

The largest organisms in the world is a forest in aspen. Everyone thought that it was just a bunch of trees. It looked like each tree was alone to itself. Scientists tested the genetics of the trees and found them all to be identical. They discovered that all the trees are one large organism that connect together by one giant root system.

I wonder if we are no different from those trees. Existing above ground on our own while really relying on each other for support. All connects and inevitably the same as each other. Maybe that is why it is so easy to effect each other.